Going shopping? The hounding starts almost as soon as you leave the airport!

Let’s operate from a basic premise.  We shop because it’s fun, whether it’s as simple as the excitement of acquiring something new, or the joy of learning something from the object or service obtained.

To a very large extent, elements within the Vietnamese character are so pervasive and predictable, that shopping in Vietnam is pretty much hell, we’d say.  Pestering and cheating are the two main reasons. Pestering is the topic of the day, although one could write a book on scams prevalent in Vietnam.

Hounded out of the shops
Whether it be the north, south, or central part of the country, hounding Western shoppers is a way of life for the Vietnamese shopkeeper.  It isn’t enough for the merchant to be satisfied that someone’s walked into a shop, gazing mindfully and an object or two, suitable for granny’s birthday or Vickie’s graduation.  Immediately, the shopper has an unwanted companion at the elbow, shoving unwanted goods in his or her face, yakking uncontrollably about what ever object the harassed shopper appears to be looking at, and making the customer feel just plain miserable.  When the shopper is hounded out the door by the shopkeeper, invectives will commonly be hurled at the retreating shopper, and all other shopkeepers within earshot begin laughing derisively.

Pestered off the streets
OK, you say, let’s give the shops a wide berth, and buy directly from those nice ladies in ethnic garb standing on the street corner, selling crafts.  My friend, you’ve made a grave error.  Show any interest at all, and the tribeswoman will grab her goods, lock, stock, and barrel, and begin pursuing you down the street, shoving goods in your face, and dogging you for blocks.

Bedeviled in the markets
Ah, you clever soul.  You’ll stay out of shops, avoid the street tribes, and confine yourself to street markets, will you?  Sorry, strike three.  Here, virtually every stall keeper opens the conversation with “Buy from me, buy from me…  buy from meeeee!”  You still will be dogged, may even be followed by a confederate with an armload of goodies, yammering at you while you’re fleeing along the midway.  Expect him or her to hurl the usual insults as you make your mad dash away, and thrill to the laughter of other stall keepers enjoying the witty one-way repartee.

How do I buy anything with some degree of comfort?
Try top-notch shops, used to dealing with Westerners.  Their informal market surveys have told them Western people walk when bugged, and quite a few owners have lived a while in western countries.  They know the value of being politely near enough to answer inquiries without carrying on a non-stop rap the length of the Vietnamese constitution.

When buying crafts, our most pleasurable experience was trekking out to the ethnic villages themselves, and buying from the girls selling shirts, blankets, bags, and jewelry made by their parents.  The girls are sweet and multilingual, and the prices are far less than you’ll pay in town.  You avoid the middleman and the pestering, you get to meet wonderful people, and the money goes directly to the families.

What are you gonna do, Vietnam?
If Vietnam really wants to play hardball in the world of commerce and tourism, she’d better start a major re-education project to tell the nation’s shopkeepers how much money they’re losing.  They’re not just pestering them out of their stores, they’re driving them outside the country’s borders, where pleasurable shopping experiences lie in virtually every other country in Southeast Asia.

And if the commercial folks working for the tourism branch of the Vietnamese government get around to reading this article, we’d be happy to offer it as essential reading in a course it can offer to tradespeople wishing to enhance their income, retain customers, and make a few new friends.