WoWasis columnist Khun Lee weighs in on the bachelor scene in Bangkok:
More and more guys are choosing to date normal Thai gals instead of restricting their pool of potential lasses to the ones who hug chrome poles or are otherwise engaged in sex for sale. This certainly is a good thing as far as I am concerned, but it also brings about new challenges as it is no longer a simple pay-for-play scenario. No matter how much criticism is aimed at the sex industry, the one big upside to the professional gals is that all you need is money in your pocket. You don’t need to be handsome, rich, personable or even presentable. It is strictly pay as you go, or as one of my mates calls it “point and shoot.”
I have always played in both the professional and normal gal arenas and it has really been a pleasure and education to see the world from both angles. With the professional gals becoming more mercenary as time goes by, and the normal Thai gals becoming much more open to meeting western guys during this same period of time, it has become inevitable that more guys will cross over to the other side, or as my Sunderland mate likes to say “cross over to the light side.”
So with this theme in mind I would like to offer the following words of advice to any guy who has spent the majority of his time in Thailand with pros, but from time to time has wondered just how to act if he chose to cross over to the other side:
1) You will need to dress and act more appropriately. Wear smart clothes and be polite at all times.
2) NEVER lose your cool under any circumstances.
3) Smile and have fun. There is no bigger turn off for a Thai gal than a serious guy.
4) Awaken your spirit of adventure. Normal Thai gals will show you a side of Thailand that you never thought existed.
5) Be a man. Guys may be going “metro-sexual” in the west, but in Thailand the man is the boss and makes all the important decisions. Be polite but don’t take any crap from the ladies. When I first meet a lady I employ what I like to call my “one strike and you are out” rule. The first month or so if they show up late without calling, ask me for money, raise their voice at me or use foul language then I delete their phone number and move on. With bar gals the biggest issue is normally money. With normal gals my biggest issue has been that they want to marry you. Many get very jealous and possessive right away, and it is not unusual for a gal to want you to be her boyfriend after just 1 or 2 dates. Don’t despair guys, I am only talking about 30% or so of the gals being whacko like that.
6) Learn some Thai. Bar girls can all speak a smattering of broken English but many normal Thai gals have studied English from first grade and are still shy to use it in public.
7) Be discreet. In Thailand there is the public world and the private world. If you go to brothels and sleep with a different hooker every night, but act like a gentleman around your lady, then you are a good man. If she sees you having a cup of coffee in Starbucks with a female friend then you are a bad man. Thai men rarely leave the bar with a pro, they use the rooms upstairs in the nightlife establishment or at least go to a short time hotel and have the staff pull the curtain to cover up their automobile. This concept of a public world and private world seems to be especially difficult to grasp for western guys, but is at the heart of all things Thai.
8) Protect you freedom. Like I mentioned before, some gals will try to “fast forward” the relationship and become your girlfriend right away. Always remember that paradise is not paradise any more if you have a weight (girlfriend) around your neck. Be patient. There are millions of Thai gals dying to have a foreign boyfriend, but only a few thousand of us. We hold all the cards.
I hope this short list has helped in some way. The real wild card here is understanding Thai culture and the way things work over here. As one friend of mine said when referring to a mutual acquaintance who has lived here for years and has yet to learn a single thing about Thai ways “when he meets a new gal it is like he showed up to a football game with ice skates on… it’s going to be ugly.”
Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok