From the ever-controversial WoWasis columnist Khun Lee:

I was out having fun on the town with a male Thai friend the other night, and I casually asked him what personality characteristics a Thai man looks for when sizing up a Thai woman’s attractiveness as a potential partner. I was really just wondering if in general Thai guys were similar to western guys in the way they measure these types of things. Well I must say that although this guy is quite young and innocent in many worldly endeavors, he gave me an extremely detailed and thoughtful response.

“When I look at a Thai woman, I consider 3 aspects of her life. First, I look at what she does with her free time. If she prowls around at night, frequents clubs, discos or other party places then I am not interested in her. If she spends her free time doing positive things such as improving herself, being with friends or family or engaged in some hobby then she may be a keeper. Secondly I look at what she does with her spare money. If she spends most of her money on expensive clothes or jewelry or other ridiculously frivolous items then I definitely am not interested. On the other hand, if she is smart with her money and is buying a property or otherwise investing it then she may be a good gal to know. Thirdly I look at how she treats her friends and family. If she is close to her family, has many good friends and acts respectful and true then I may well be interested in her.”

Man I gotta say that this guy may be young, but he really has nailed down the art of sizing up women as potential partners. I never really spent much time summarizing my own set of criteria in choosing partners, but after that night with my friend I started to think about his words and how similar his philosophy is to what I have always done in my life. I have always avoided women with expensive clothes and jewelry. Heck, I don’t care if she wasted her own money on that useless crap, is a spoiled rich girl and her family bought it for her, or some poor schmuck boyfriend just got fleeced. Any way you look at it she is to be avoided like the plague. What man wants a spoiled rich family girl, a girl who already has a rich boyfriend (or several) or a girl who is incredibly reckless and stupid with her own money?

As far as what a gal does with her spare time, I definitely don’t want a serious party gal for a steady girlfriend. Sure I would be happy to nail her a few times, but for a gal to hang out with on a regular basis who wants a tramp? My personal philosophy is that I will hold a woman’s hair back while she vomits only the one time. The next time it is some other guys turn to humiliate himself simply to get some easy hot monkey sex. Ooooh memories of smelling cheap booze, stale cigarettes and vomit are not going to make my highlight reel when I look back on my life experiences.

Then we come to choosing a gal who is close to her friends and family. He really is smart to include this in his criteria. When I look back at all the gals I have been involved with in my life, it has become clear to me that nearly all of the total whackos had very few if any real friends as they had obviously alienated all the people in their lives. Add on to this the fact that most of the crazy jealous control freaks have no one close to them and therefore must turn their aggression and hostility toward the new guy in their life.

My Thai mate is barely half my age, but for this one evening the student was the master.

I was watching a special on TV the other night about Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy. We single guys around the globe, guys who enjoy all that being a single man on the go has to offer really owe a debt of gratitude to the first guy who dedicated his life to creating magazines, videos, gentleman clubs, and many other forms of entertainment that celebrated the single man’s lifestyle. As a confirmed bachelor I can testify to the fact that there is very little appreciation for or acceptance of the single man in this world of ours. Even in Thailand, the single man’s Paradise, I have to constantly make up excuses or white lies to explain why I happen to be single. Telling any person in this world that you PREFER to be single, that it is a choice you have made and that you thoroughly enjoy it will only draw blank looks, or worse, total condemnation. Thanks Hef for all you have done for us. We all owe you big time dude.

Speaking of the single lifestyle, my good friend Peter the Pie Eater had an excellent response the other night when a young lass who likes the amiable Englishman asked why he didn’t want to marry her. His response was “ I am still paying for my last marriage.”

I will wind up this month’s column with a funny story about one of my favorite bargirls in Bangkok. We all know that the game with the professional gals is just about fun for us and money for the gals, but sometimes it just gets too mercenary even for my savvy local guy taste. This lass was “married” to a foreign guy last year and I lost touch with her. Now I must say right here that I put the word married in quotes because in this life there is married married and bargirl married. Bargirl married is a big party where the gal and her family receive a bunch of money and gold after which she does whatever the f*ck she wants to. Anyway, this gal was “bargirl married” and apparently the guy died. When she told me the news I felt badly for the lass and told her how sorry I was to hear about her husband’s passing. Her response was “it’s no big deal, I can always find another guy.” Cold, bloody cold these gals can be.

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok