We here at WoWasis have just finished our annual review of adult entertainment zones and venues in Bangkok, the three best-known of which are Nana Plaza, Patpong II, and Soi Cowboy. Patpong I, which runs parallel to Patpong II, was also a candidate for inclusion. After spending part of an evening there, we concluded that it’s not just the worst adult entertainment experience in Bangkok, it’s the worst we’ve seen anywhere in the world. We recommend that you remove it from your bucket list. Here’s why.

The street itself represents an unwieldy walk, as pedestrians have to wind through a byzantine number of knick-knack stalls that have thrived, cancer-like They’ve taken over so much of the street that it’s impossible to see anything, high, low, or across the street, from anywhere. This claustrophobia is enhanced by the worst part of the Patpong I experience, the touts. These vermin (think we’re being hyperbolic? Go there yourself and come up with a better word) accost every traveler on the street, trying to cajole the individual into going into one bar or another. The visitor cannot stand in any one place for longer than one second without being set upon. Walk another few feet, there’s another idiot pestering you. Dozens ply Patpong I, assailing each and every visitor.

It goes without saying that the touts work on commission. Go to one of their bars and it’s a guarantee that your bill will be padded to pay for the commission. Think you can go to a bar on your own? Forget it. A tout will follow you and claim that he brought you in. Your bill gets padded anyway.

For years, Patpong I earned well-deserved reputation as a place in which bills are padded on a regular basis, either through the tout scam, or just by adding drinks the customer never got, much less ordered. It was a rip-off haven. Still is. Patpong I hasn’t changed. Along with the seven bars on Soi Cowboy owned by “The Arab,” it represents a textbook case of fleecing visitors as if they were carnival marks.

Patpong I also sullies the reputation of Patpong II next door, which is a terrific place to spend an evening. So honestly, if you want your adult entertainment experience in Bangkok to be a memorable one, make sure those memories are good ones. Cross Patpong I off your list. We have.