Living in Paradise one tends to become extremely spoiled when it comes to women, sex and just about anything that has to do with life’s pleasures.  I must admit that although I tell people every day that I am the luckiest guy on the planet, every once in a while I need to be reminded in a harsh and somewhat brutal way of just how fortunate I am to have escaped the passionless existence of the West for the hot, sultry life in the exotic East.

I was chatting online with an old friend the other day that happens to live in my native city of Washington, D.C.  He is quite similar to me, late 40’s, tall, slim and has a good job and enjoys socializing.  He proceeds to tell me about a dating service he joined that requires an upfront payment of $4,000 (yes that’s 140,000 baht!) but guarantees him 4 lunch dates with different ladies or he gets his money back.  Now, I have to stop right here and say that if this man lived here in Bangkok he would be quite a stud.  I dare to say he would have to beat the women off with a stick.  However, things have gotten so ridiculous back in farangland that he hasn’t had a date for 4 years, and hasn’t had sex for 7 years.  After making sure he hadn’t said 7 days instead of 7 years (who the hell could go more than a week without sex and not kill himself?), I inquired about the details of this dating service’s package.  For this incredible sum of money they set him up with 4 women, and he proceeds to have a one hour lunch date with each one.  That is it! That is all he gets.

But it is even worse than that.  One of the women he joined for lunch couldn’t stomach spending even an hour with him and made a flimsy excuse and sauntered off.  When he informed the dating service, they said she would not count as 1 of his 4 dates and they would still guarantee the 4 lunch dates or his money back.  So he returns to the service’s office to view videos of possible dates and selects a few prospective ladies for lunch meetings.  When the manager of the service looked at my friend’s selections, he says “this is why you are having such bad luck.  You are being WAY too picky.  He proceeds to tell my friend that 1 of his selections, a lady 40 years old who has 3 children and a double chin, is out of his league and he should select another lady who is closer to his own age and level of attractiveness. Whaaaaaat the fu*k?  Now I truly understand the emotions behind “The Pattaya Flying Club,” the enormous number of men in Thailand (most of whom spent their days in Pattaya) who run completely out of money and assets, so throw themselves from the roof of a tall building because meeting their Maker is preferable to returning to the absolute hell that is farangland.

One doesn’t need to travel all the way around the world from Paradise in order to meet stuck up women with bad attitudes.  I have many mates who work in rich Asian countries or cities such as Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong.  Money is the ultimate corruptor, and as most men have figured out by now, once women are surrounded by money they become total bitches.  My mates have told me countless times that the women in these rich Asian cities are just as bad as farang women (especially if they have the Chinese influence) but until recently I wasn’t sure whether or not I believed it.  Last week I was enjoying a few cold beers and pleasant conversation in one of my favorite haunts when 3 Chinese looking gals walked in and sat down.  Needless to say, the Thai manager was salivating over these gals (they really were not that hot) because of the Thai addiction to white skin.  I introduced myself to the ladies (who were from Hong Kong)  in order to give my Thai manager friend an excuse to chat them up, and as the conversation progressed I decided to ask them what kind of men they normally are interested in meeting.  In unison, the 3 ladies shouted “rich” and “lots of money” much to my amazement.  I can honestly say that in 8 years of living in Thailand, not one Thai lady has ever told me that she was specifically looking for a rich man.  For that matter, I think my poor friends do even better with Thai ladies than my rich friends do. 

Man oh man do I love Thailand.

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok