The Good Manner: Advice on Asia from WoWasis’ Pa Farang
Today’s dilemma: am I being set up by a Thai lady in Macau?

Dear Pa Farang,

I’m Korean-American, but work in HK and frequent Macau saunas once in a while.  I don’t even look at the Chinese girls.  My eyes shift directly to Thai girls and if two are available, I’m in.  I’ve been seeing this one girl at Darling for over 6 months.  Last night, I was feeling adventurous and let her invite a friend.  Amazing!!

I’m enjoying it and they seem to be having fun together.  I mean, what kind of woman likes that stuff, but they worked well together.  It’s very obvious these girls who work at saunas/massage parlors are talkative amongst each other.  While my regular girl is showering, the new girl is telling me that the regular girl talks about me all the time.  When the regular girl was finished, I asked her if that was true.  She is a little strong headed and didn’t want to admit that, but was very flush in the face.   

As I was about to leave, she asked me to visit her in Thailand in the future so I could be her tour guide and show her Bangkok.  I’ve seen her at least 5 or 6 times and I’ve never been to Thailand.  Sounds like a “kill two birds with one stone” situation to me.  I think I’m a good judge of character, and from our conversations, she seems to have just got a crap hand at the start of life, and she’s doing what she’s doing to survive. At the end of the day, who knows?   

I’m not really emotionally attracted to her, but she seems fun.  It’s obviously come at a price each time, but am I setting myself up for unexpected “bad” surprises if I were to meet her on her home-turf?  I’m not naive to think she’s crazy about me and that that she could be totally setting me up for ripping me off, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.  Am I not thinking this through well enough?  What’s your take on the genuineness of these Thai girls who are working in Macau?

Kind regards, Lone Traveler  

Dear LT, 

I don’t think it’s a rip-off in the traditional sense, necessarily, but let’s begin by stating a few facts:

1) She already knows Bangkok better than she’s letting on. All Thai MP girls know Bangkok.
2) You’re a nice guy and a good customer, pay your bills, and treat her well.
3) She may be looking at you as provider material (also known as ATM), because you don’t live in Thailand.
4) At the very worst, she’ll get a free ride to discos, will bring along her friends, and you’ll pay the bill.

All that said, it may be a good idea to take her up on her offer, with several caveats. Bangkok is a lot of fun, and there are tons of ladies and massage parlors there. Your Thai girl may try to monopolize your time, so she can prevent other girls from taking your money (in her opinion, it belongs to her). She also may want to charge you a fixed rate per week, or per short-time, so you’ll want to discuss the financial arrangement in advance.

On the other hand, it might be free of charge, but as many foreign men have discovered in Bangkok, free sex costs more than paid sex (“going shopping,” where the lady takes you to the Emporium, Gaysorn, or any other high-priced mall, and you pay for stuff, is pretty common).

You probably don’t want to get tied down to one lady on your first trip to Bangkok. It’s decidedly not Macau, and you’ll see beautiful, available women everywhere, all the time. So here are my recommendations:

1) Ask your lady friend what she’ll charge you, per day or for sex, in Bangkok. Ignorance is not bliss.
2) If the answer to #1 is satisfactory to you, go to Bangkok alone, and tell your friend you’ll call her when you arrive, and arrange for a dinner or drink. Tell her you have other Korean friends there, and that you can’t spend 24/7 with her. If she wants to spend time with you and your imaginary buddies, tell her they drink too much, they talk business all the time, and therefore she wouldn’t have any fun because you’re all speaking Korean, so that’s impossible.
3) Take it as it goes with your Thai lady friend. She may be a great lady (many of them are), and you’ll enjoy her company immensely. Or it may be a nightmare, so take things easy at first.
4) Thai women can be enormously and dangerously jealous. Remember to stay in control at all times, and don’t make the mistake of giving her your hotel key.
5) Your imaginary Korean buddies are your best friends. They are your excuse for owning your own time.

Many visitors have made lasting friendships with Thai women. Many have married them, or have special arrangement whereby they live together when the visitor goes to Bangkok. You may have met a friend for life, or someone you won’t want to see anymore. So take Pa Farang’s advice, keep both eyes open, and enjoy your stay in Bangkok. It’s one city you shouldn’t miss.

Remember to show the Good Manner, and have a great time in Thailand, 

– Pa Farang 

Read Pa Farang’s other columns for more advice on relationships and scams in Southeast Asia