The terrible damage and destruction caused by the spectacular lahars resulting from the volcanic action at Luzon’s Mt. Pinatubo in the Philippines may result in miles of new beachhead for western Luzon. While we were documenting the current situation in the lahar area, WoWasis researchers ran into a young woman clad in beachwear, who informed us that she absolutely refused to do her sunning anywhere else.
“I used to have to drive for hours to go to the beach, but now the beach has come to me, and I’m taking advantage while the getting’s good. I just can’t wait until the drinks vendors start showing up.”
When asked if it was bad form to be tanning over the graves of the unfortunate, she adopted a reverential tone and stated “yes, it’s sad, but mother nature does a great job repurposing landscapes, and by golly, if there’s ash, I’m ready to roll. I’m really into pyroclastics.” She’s into exercise as well, and is driving a small income she makes directing Pilates classes from a nearby derelict school half blasted out by the force of the lahar. “That old science room is where I hold my classes. Even though the toilet is half-buried, it beats digging a hole in the ash, because you never know what you’ll find down there.”
Rumor has it that major casinos are drawing up plans for the area, and notable politicians are investing in laharfront properties and securing behind-the-scenes government contracts for municipal services, including a dive-through cemetery to honor any dead currently covered by the lahar that may surface when construction for this massive project gets underway. Our bathing beauty, who refused to identify herself, was intrigued by the rumor. “Well, as an early adopter, I have things pretty much to myself at this point. The way things stand today, I can’t even get an umbrella drink around here right now. But if what you say about land speculation is true, put me down for a condo.”