Sitting in one of my favorite bars with a mate last night, we were discussing our various methods of charming the opposite sex and satisfying our disgusting animal urges.  My mate happened to mention that when making love to a woman “doggy” style he often attempts to enter another pleasure zone in that general region, often with less than satisfying results.  I told him that my method is to repeatedly attempt the same thing over and over again until the lass gets tired of swatting me away with her hand and finally gives in.  My friend laughed and said that in our country that would be considered sodomy.  InThailandit is just called “persistence!”

I have a good friend in the USA named Khun Bill (Bin or Biaw to the Thai lasses as they often cannot pronounce an “L” sound at the end of a syllable) and he sent me the following list of his comparison between the USA and Thailand:

Americans-too busy working to be happy
Thais-too busy being happy to think

Americans-women out weigh men 2:1
Thais-women out work men 2:1

Americans-bugs get into the refrigerator for food
Thais-people get into the refrigerator for bugs

Americans-12 ways to not smile that are real
Thais-12 ways to smile that are not real

Americans-famous for John Adams and apple pie
Thais-famous for boys with noAdamsapple

Americans-pay for a good deal at Carmax
Thais-pray a good deal for karma

Americans-women head for the beach for some good tan
Thais-women go out with a faan (boyfriend) for some good head

Thais-welcome their tanks into town to take over the country
Americans-protest their tanks taking over all other countries

Americans-man comes home to his wife and asks Why?
Thais-man comes home to his wife who greets with a Wai

It is that time of the year for all of us to decide what kind of changes we want to make in our lives in the coming new year.  Living inBangkok, which is the same as having New Year’s eve 365 times a year, I have come up with the following list of my own personal resolutions:

1) I will sleep at least 7 hours a night regardless of how many times I am expected to perform
2) I will exercise 3 times per week outside of the bedroom
3) I will drink alcohol no more than 5 times per week
4) I will limit myself to no more than 15 favorite gals at a time no matter how difficult it is to narrow down the list
5) I will party more often with Dean and his mates (really good blokes I must say)
6) When returning toBangkokfrom a side trip I will unpack within 1 week
7) I will phone my Mom at least once a week
8) I will read 2 new books every month
9) I will study Thai language 1 hour every day
10) I will accept people the way the are without being judgmental (quite a challenge in Bangkok)

Happy New Year 2012 to all of my loyal readers!

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok