The Good Manner: Advice on Thailand from WoWasis’ Pa Farang
Today’s question: Did that Thai girl bewitch me with love magic?

Dear Pa Farang, 

A little over a year ago I entered into a relationship with a beautiful lady from Isaan, during a visit a few days before leaving to go back to Afghanistan she asked me to buy her a gold bracelet, it was a simple bracelet with a small gold heart and cost just a little under 5k baht, she also asked for a T-shirt of mine. As a few months past due to my work and my time away from Thailand, she found someone that was more suitable and more open to marriage than I was. They married, however she comes to visit me when I come to Thailand if we are there at the same time and sends emails to me on a consistent basis, I don’t try to contact her because she’s married, but why can’t I stop thinking of her, she told me that the bracelet would always make me come back to her, and it seems that it does…

–          Jon

Dear Jon,

Whether or not we in the West believe in love charms, many Thais do. Here’s what a good friend said when he told his Thai wife about your letter: “she calls these sorts of love charms a mild form of s’nae (short ‘s’ sound). Heavy duty s’nae happens when the lady foists a love charm that prevents her target from ever saying ‘no,’ e.g., when she asks for a gold necklace, etc.” That’s a pretty important — and potentially expensive —  “etc.,” so Jon, at 5K baht plus a T-shirt, the lady thinks you got off cheap!

Love and luck amulets abound in Thailand, as does belief in superstitions and ghosts (read about Krasue, she’s not a nice ghost, trust me on this one). But “love magic” isn’t just confined to the East. I remember reading a while back that traditional French women would sleep with an apple in one of their armpits overnight, then feed it to the object of their affections the next day, in hope of winning his love (I’d rather pay the 5K baht).

It sounds like you were good to her, and she’ll never forget you, hence any kind of magic she can acquire to keep you remembering, she will. You mentioned that “due to my work and my time away from Thailand, she found someone that was more suitable and more open to marriage than I was.” She realizes you have a good heart, weren’t BSing her, and if she’d had her druthers, she would have married you.  That’s why she still sees you whenever she can. You were probably “the guy that got away,” and regardless of how her marriage is going, she still more than occasionally wonders how it would have worked out with the two of you. 

You can’t forget her either. It’s human nature to dwell on wonderful romances of the past, as they never aged enough to go sour. So in essence, Jon, yes, she did work her love magic on you. And vice-versa too, it seems.

Marayat Dee,

– Pa Farang

Read Pa Farang’s other columns for more advice on relationships in Southeast Asia