Rolf-Peter Wille is a German writer that has lived in Taiwan since 1978, which makes 33 years as of this writing. He is also a pianist who has performed all over the world both as soloist as well as in a piano duo with his wife, Lina Yeh, who also serves as one of the translators of this bi-lingual book (each left page is printed in Chinese, each right page in English), and is a professor at the National University of the Arts in Taipei. He certainly knows Taiwan enough to write a very interesting, informative, witty, and fun book, Formosa in Fiction: a Collection of Rather Exotic Tales (2011, ISBN 978-986-6789-99-1). We here at WoWasis were enchanted by it.

The ‘fiction’ to which the author refers is the selection of historical references made about Formosa for centuries, and Wille revels in each story. The book is a fun read, separated into four sections: Utopian Satire, Qing Travelogues, Western Pioneers, and Modern Legends. These sections are chronological, and are nicely illustrated in color with woodcuts, drawings, paintings, photos, and lithos from old texts. Wille quotes from a number of sources, from Daniel Defoe (a later version of Robinson Crusoe places him in Formosa) to Jonathan Swift and beyond. Wille clearly loves the country, its people, and its history, and his perspective is nearly always tongue-in-cheek. He’s a humorist with a keen eye for irony and satire.

A great example (this is a lengthy quote, but well worth reading), is his short essay on who really owns Taiwan, a question asked repeatedly by many politically-conscious folks over the past several decades:

“Taiwan, feeling quite lonely and hanging dangerously in the air, should quickly be restored to her rightful owner in such a manner as the International community readily agrees upon. Unfortunately though, that some confusion reigns in scholarly circles as to whom she should be returned, is common knowledge by now. If we take an impartial and scientific look at the historical list of pretenders, we shall quickly find the VOC, me Vereenigde Oost-Indische Compagnie, or Dutch East India Company, to be the true mother of this land. The Dutch were the first to unite those savage Formosan headhunters and pacify them by the ageless methods of missions and massacres. Most importantly, they imported guest workers from Fujian, and those diligent Chinese — as Dutch governor Nicholas Verburg put it — were “the only bees on Formosa that gave honey”. No doubt: The germination of Taiwan’s social integration and economic preeminence was originally stimulated by the VOC and Taiwan should be returned to it. Moreover, a transfer from ROC to VOC proves convenient as just a single letter needs to be changed.

“If, speaking figuratively, Holland is the mother of Formosa, then Germany is her dear father. The Netherlands, as a matter of fact, belonged to the “Sacrum Romanum Imperium Nationis Germanicae”, the old German Empire. Since ancient times, the Netherlands have always been the sacred territory of Germany, an inalienable part, so to say, split out in modem times. Ludwig van Beethoven, the grandson of a Flemish musician, is still a German composer. The Dutch language is practically a German dialect and a German with a bad cold will automatically speak Dutch. But let us carefully and objectively contemplate the reign of all the former owners of Taiwan and refute their respective claims to the island.

“After the VOC, Formosa (Taiwan) was owned by Koxinga and descendants, by the Manchu emperors of the great Qing Empire, by the Meiji and Showa emperors of Japan, by Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek and descendants, as well as by some recent contenders. Koxinga was a pirate who stole Formosa from the Dutch with the help of a German deserter, Sgt. Hans Jurgen Rade (or Radis) from Stuttgart. Koxinga is slumbering in his grave and his Kingdom of Tungning has perished a long time ago. Taiwan cannot be returned to a dead man. His grandson, Zheng Keshuang, surrendered Formosa to the Qing without a fight, thus proving beyond any doubt, that he did not care for his possession.

“The Qing sent corrupt, degraded mandarins to the west coast of Taiwan, squeezed her people and repressed about 159 uprisings. Emperor Kangxi planned to abandon this “ball of mud”. Claims have been made that Taiwan, having been an annexed prefecture of Fujian province, be returned to China, because it “belonged to the Chinese Empire”; and historically unsound they are: China had been conquered by the Manchu. The great Qing Empire was a “Han-Man-Meng-Hui-Zang” one; besides China proper it contained Manchuria, Mongolia, Muslim areas and Tibet.  The emperor was Manchu. All subjects of the Qing Empire, including Taiwanese, were the emperor’s children. If the father is Manchu so are his children. Unfortunately Taiwan cannot be returned to Manchuria. The ancient Kingdom of Manchuria, as well as the great Qing Empire, have all ceased to exist. Maybe Taiwan could be returned to Lang Lang, the great Manchurian pianist.

“Unlike the Kingdom of Tungning, or the Kingdom of Manchuria, Japan still exists. Should Taiwan be returned to Japan? This, I believe, will be quite unnecessary. Every child knows, that Japan’s main interest today is business and in this regard she has never relinquished the island: Taiwan’s pianos are Yamahas, her cars Toyotas. Politically Japan has renounced all territorial rights to the island.

“Taiwan, still a province of the Republic of China, can obviously not be reunited with the ROC; no separation, no return; and it is more than superfluous, I believe, to consider a return to the PRC or the USA who have not possessed a square inch of Taiwan for even a single second; no ownership, no return. Equally nonsensical are claims that Formosa be returned to the aboriginals. These backward people—they had not even managed to pollute the island—were always just a part of the wild mountains and jungles and are automatically owned by whoever owns Taiwan. Who, in his right mind, would think of returning America to the Indians?

“The weak cases of all these contenders confirm without doubt that Taiwan should be returned to the VOC and Germany. The VOC created Taiwan and cooked the soup that was drunk by usurping successors. As he VOC was Dutch and the Dutch German, Taiwan should be returned to Germany as soon as possible. The fact that Taiwanese like beer and pig knuckle proves scientifically that German blood flows through their veins.

“It is true, I admit, that in my distant childhood I may have been German. Nevertheless, I trust the fair reader will not suspect any partiality on my part, as I have undertaken my scholarly research entirely in the service of truth and science. Yet, soundly again shall I steep when Taiwan is — finally — returned to Germany.”

Wille has written, essentially, a delightfully twisted love letter to his adopted country. He’s got short biographies of many of the authors whose works he cites, and focuses as much as possible on the disparity between what was written, and what was reality. Currently, the book is only available in Taiwan, so we suggest buying it at any of the bookstores in Taipei specializing in English books on Taiwan.