Bangkok’s Soi Cowboy

Here at WoWasis, we always like monitoring what’s being said about male-female socialization in Asia, and we find one of the more interesting bloggers is Jenna, who writes out of Taiwan.  She’s written a post today on how western women do (or do not) socialize in Asian countries, with a number of interesting observations and opinions. This one about Bangkok’s Soi Cowboy struck us as being worthy of addressing:

“ …there is plenty of nightlife and it’s mostly safe for the Western woman, but that doesn’t mean the average Western woman wants to partake of it (go check out Soi Cowboy sometime – you’ll see what I mean). Why go to a bar or club where you don’t know anyone, you’re quite possibly the only foreign woman there, and neither the men (foreign or local) nor the local women want to talk to you?”

Actually, we know of a number of western women who have enjoyed Soi Cowboy. Generally, they’ve come with friends, but if a woman is traveling alone, it’s a friendly place where buying anyone a drink will buy what will probably be an interesting conversation.  Contrary to popular belief, men are always curious when a woman from any culture buys them a drink. Thai bar girl stories are fairly predictable: “father is farmer, work in factory before, first time work in bar, no have boyfriend.” As a western woman, your story will be different.

We know of Irene, one U.S.-based lady who went to Soi Cowboy’s 5-Star bar, bought a bottle of champagne, treated the dancers to a drink, and had the time of her life.  Upon leaving the bar, she ran into writer Dean Barrett, with whose writings she was familiar. She still talks about her wonderful Soi Cowboy experience, and the ladies still talk about how friendly she was.

And then there’s Linda. Linda’s a British ex-pat who managed the Hollywood go-go bar for a while, can often be found having a drink in Nana Entertainment Plaza’s Big Dogs bar, and is loved and welcomed in every bar in Bangkok. Expats, bar girls, and visitors she meets become instant friends. Linda just loves everyone, and it’s infectious.

What Irene and Linda both have in common is that they’re friendly, love people, and are non-judgmental about western men, bargirls, and Thais. They’re convivial, and bring the party with them. People just flock to them, because they’re smiling, laughing, and having a great time.

Since a significant number of western women travelers read our blog, here are four tips to socializing in Bangkok bars that can be of great value:

1) Don’t regard every western man you see as a current or potential child molester. Men do tend to like women, that’s why they’re in Bangkok. And they’re not just here to meet Thai women. They also meet Ugandans, Cambodians, Brits, Yanks, Aussies, and Europeans. If you have a convivial outlook, you’ll find many men interested in talking to you.

2) Have a great attitude, and join the party. In places like Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza, drinks are cheap, bar staff is friendly, and whatever your taste in music, you’ll find a bar that’s playing it. Places like 5 Star bar in Soi Cowboys have great live bands, too. You can get great insight into Thai life and culture by buying a bargirl a drink. A great way to break the ice is to ask where she’s from, and if she has brothers or sisters. If you have a map of Thailand with you, she’ll even point out show you where she’s from.

3) Resist the urge to dance onstage. Thais always smile, even if they can’t stand what you’re doing. The stage is for the girls that work there. It’s their place of business. If you start dancing on stage, customers will begin to leave, and the girls will lose money in drinks and bar fines.

4) Don’t take pictures of western men you’re just meeting. Religious organizations and NGOs are making a nuisance of themselves trying to bust every western man in Asia, and western guys will be suspicious if you want a “pal” photo too soon.  We met a very nice western couple who said hi to us and joined us for a conversation at one of Soi Cowboy’s outdoor bars. They mentioned they were there as part of a Christian group, but they didn’t bring out cameras and make themselves unwelcome. Whatever their reason for being there, they observed social decorum. We made it a point of not being judgmental of them, either.

In summation, attitude is everything. Friendly people are welcomed the world over, and with your great attitude, you’ll have no problem engaging people in conversations in any bar in Bangkok. If you just sit in a bar and look glum, no one will engage with you in a conversation. But if you get out of your chair, sit next to someone, and make a friendly comment or two, you’ll never be lonely.