The Good Manner: Advice on Thailand from WoWasis’ Pa Farang
This week’s dilemma: He likes big milk [large breasts] too much! 

Dear Pa Farang, 

I write for my sister, not for me.  She is Thai lady, 26 years old, very smart, very pretty, with good heart.  For two years, she have farang boyfriend.  In beginning, he never look another lady.  Now, when they walking, he look always at other lady, if she have big milk.  This make sister crazy, and cry.  Then, fight.  Pa Farang, why farang man like big milk, but stay with Thai lady who not this way? 

– Not understand the farang 

Dear Not Understand, 

For thousands of years, women have been attempting to discover the reason men look at other women. And like other women, your sister will have to learn that even if she succeeds at badgering her boyfriend to stop looking at women on the street, he’ll focus on looking at ladies in magazines, movies, and maybe even in bars. The westerners have a saying, “better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t.”  This means that your sister will have better success by showing the Good Manner, and making her man happy by accepting his behavior, than she will giving him grief, thereby forcing him to engage in looking at other women solely when she’s not there. 

It appears that your sister’s boyfriend appreciates women with large breasts.  I assure you, this isn’t a western pleasure alone.  Every man from every culture is governed by genetics and environmental triggers, and these evolve and change with age and experience.  Please consider the fact that if your sister’s boyfriend is with her, it means she is important to him above all other women, including those with “big milk.”  I might suggest taking a Buddhist approach, in recognizing that the boyfriend is going through experiences that were mandated by the actions of his past.  Your sister, at the same time, might look at this relationship as one that is teaching her the value of patience, understanding, and better communication. I would not be so presumptuous as to predict the advice a monk or a nun would give her on this matter, but I suspect that he or she would council her that if she does not attempt to understand and control her impulses in this life, she may face the same challenges in whatever futures she encounters.  If you and your sister have not gone to the wat for guidance, I would suggest it may be profitable to do so.

Marayat dee,  

– Pa Farang 

Read Pa Farang’s other columns in WoWasis for more advice on relationships and cultural matters  in Southeast Asia