The Good Manner: Advice on Thailand from WoWasis’ Pa Farang
This week’s dilemma: The Lost Motorbike: is my Thai girlfriend cheating me?

 Dear Pa Farang, 

I am a pensioner living in Krabi, enjoying a bit of the good life after many a cold winter in Manchester. Last year, a met a charming girl in her early twenties, a sweetheart who does the little things like caring for my laundry (I’m a semi-invalid). Several months ago, she asked if I’d buy her a motorcycle, so she could run the occasional errand for me. I thought this a splendid idea, and we bought a spanking new one. Recently, whilst she was away visiting her family in Surat Thani, her bike encountered motor problems, and she arrived back in Krabi by bus. She’s told me that her brother is a fine mechanic, but it’s been several weeks since it’s been at his place for repairs, and he hasn’t seemed to have gotten the hang of fixing the thing. 

Earlier this week, my girlfriend proposed that she take motorcar-driving lessons. We don’t have a car, but, after putting our heads together, thought that if we got her an inexpensive used vehicle, she’d be able to take me around down a bit better, and spirit me away for the occasional country holiday. My problem is that the blokes have been winding me up a bit about this, and have chided me about the gold necklace I bought her last year, which she unfortunately lost when it was nicked from her neck at a market whist she was out shopping for me one day.  Their feeling is that I spend too much money on the girl, and that the motorbike is gone for good. None of these gentlemen, I might add, has a steady girlfriend, and methinks, their opinions may be coloured by jealousy. Really now, this last idea about the motorcar does seem like a good one.  Any advice would be welcome. 

–  Driven to Question, but not yet to Drink

Dear DQ, 

I think you should listen to your girl, but only if you’re considering investing in a used vehicle business in Surat Thani.  Your motorcycle is being happily ridden by a member of her family, or her Surat boyfriend.  This individual has now ordered a car, and your girlfriend has provided you with the requisition form.  Don’t be surprised if, on second thought, she prefers a pickup truck, gently suggesting that it will be easier to place your wheelchair in its bed, rather than in the back seat of a car.  Country boys prefer pickups to cars.  

Your friends are providing you good counsel, and, in running the risk of offending a good friend, are showing you The Good Manner, better certainly than the gamblers who now own the necklace you bought for your girlfriend. I would find some excuses to spend more time with your friends, and ease her out of your life. This may not be easy, as you’re a proven meal ticket. Your friends can advise you on how to do this, and you’ll soon find another girl who will be better worth your time. Ultimately, if you do not break the bonds, the only wheels you’ll end up with are the ones on your wheelchair, unless, of course, your girlfriend has a younger brother at home building a go-cart for you to finance. 

Mariyat dee,
– Pa Farang

Read Pa Farang’s other columns for more advice on relationships and cultural matters  in Southeast Asia