No one wants to be James Bond! I have lived in Bangkok quite some time now, and the biggest shock in my expat life so far is that nearly every guy who moves to Paradise tires very quickly of the single life and moves a lass in to his living quarters and lives the same domestic existence that he had in his home country. Maybe I grew up watching too many James Bond movies? I always thought that a dream life for any man would be to have thousands of gorgeous ladies to choose from, maintain his freedom and independence and therefore live the life of an international playboy. Geez was I wrong!  I am most certainly in the minority here as a man who enjoys his freedom and all the luxuries that come with being a single guy living in Paradise.  

What is even more shocking is that these guys tend to fall into the same destructive patterns of behavior that they had in their relationships in the West.  Such as allowing the gal to control the relationship, thinking that they have to spend a lot of money on her to keep her happy, and losing track of all their friends because they chose a jealous and possessive mate.  The number of guys here who choose a controlling gal and then give up all of their independence in an attempt to appease her is absolutely shocking.  Thai gals are taught to be gentle, demure and to take care of their man.  However, if a guy acts like a weakling who needs his Mother to tell him when to use the toilet, any gal will seize control of the relationship and it is all downhill from there.  It seems no one wants to be James Bond! 

My advice to those guys who are contemplating moving to Paradise is to ask yourself if you want to live the life of a single man, or do you really need to be in a committed relationship?  If you just want to spend all of your time with one gal, it certainly is not necessary to move out of your home country in order to do this!  Stay where you are, make that easy money that comes with working in a rich country, and take your holidays here! 

Another very common situation is the man who falls for one of the first ladies he meets, moves her in, and then after a period of time starts to long for the single life again.  Unfortunately, I have several friends who fall into this category at the moment.  It can be EXTREMELY difficult to move one out once they have dug their heels in and feel like they are living on easy street.  Let’s face it, most western guys make good money and the gals often are living a luxurious life in a large, well located apartment in the central business district along with having a maid and eating most meals out in fine restaurants.  Most gals would rather die than give up such an aristocratic life. I have a friend right now trying to move his gal out of the apartment, and she is threatening to have her 5 brothers come to town and take care of him if he dares bring the subject up again. I know this gal and believe me when I say that this is no idle threat. So please decide on what kind of life you want to lead before making that big move.  There is an ancient Chinese saying “to know others is wisdom, to know yourself is enlightenment.” 

I did meet a nice young man the other day that is way too wise for his tender age. A friend has a nephew who married with a Thai gal. They subsequently moved to the USA, and have recently returned for an extended vacation in Thailand. She decided to go upcountry to visit her relatives, but he chose to stay and spend time with his uncle. When I asked him why he didn’t accompany his wife, his response was “she comes from a VERY poor family and I know that if I had gone with her there is an excellent chance most of her family members would view me as an ATM machine and ask me to give them money.” I have nothing but admiration for this fine young man! How did you get so smart? Perhaps the uncle has taught him the ropes! 

I know an entertainment provider who happens to be a deaf mute.  She is also incredibly popular with the customers! Errrr…I wonder what that says about our taste in women?  Do we think gals talk too much? Reminds me of a quote from a friend “my perfect gal would be a young large-breasted stunner who is able to speak but chooses not to.”

Have you ever noticed that in Bangkok the regular gals dress slutty and the entertainment providers dress just like normal teenagers in the West?  So many times I walk around the upscale shopping centers and the normal gals are wearing extremely short, sexy skirts that leave nothing to the imagination, and then later that same evening I go to Nana Plaza and most of the entertainment providers come to work wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  

Want to know just how rich we are in comparison to the average Thai? Pepsi has been having a promotion which is called “win enough money to retire for the rest of your life.” The grand prize is considered to be a lifetime’s earning for a typical Thai. It is 1 million baht, or about $30,000 dollars U.S.  Now before you laugh out loud, divide that sum by an average farmers working life of 25 years and you will get 40,000 baht a year.  Believe it or not, that is about right!  Oh how lucky we are!!

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok