The Good Manner: Love & Relationship Advice from WoWasis’ Pa Farang
This week’s dilemma: Are tickling games curbing the passion in my relationship? 

Dear Pa Farang, 

My girlfriend Chalalai and I started as mad, passionate lovers. In fact, we would often spend two or three days in amorous hideaways, refusing to answer doorbells, telephone calls, angry knocks on the wall from the neighbors. We were, I admit, insufferable, but in love. Gradually, we became good friends as well. The playful side of each of us became apparent. Each evening after dinner, we’d playing “jahkajee” tickling games, where I’d chase her around the house, knocking over the occasional vase or umbrella stand, until I’d catch her, then throw her on the bed.  Exhausted, we’d fall asleep in each other’s arms. When it came to making love, that was another story.  My touch meant nothing to Chalalai anymore. It was as though her skin was devoid of feeling. Yes, she’d make love, but she’d “starfish” on me, and refuse to return my embrace. Our happy home has now chilled, and I’m beside my self with grief. We still play jahkajee, but it is now our only joy.  Pa Farang, is this emotional distance a normal condition brought on by the familiarity of living together?  Give me some advice here: how can we return to the happy days of the past? 

–          Tickled Pink 

Dear TP, 

Longtime readers of this column are well aware of the perils of “jahkajee” tickling games. Like alcohol, drugs, or television, it at first appears to be fun. Shortly thereafter, you need to have it every day.  The end is not pretty, and results in physical, emotional, and sometimes moral diminution.  You’re clearly at that point now. Yes, TP, I think you can recover, re-sharpen your lance, and return to battle.  First of all, recognize jahkajee as your foe.  Once a Thai girl gets tickled, her skin becomes impervious to the romantic touch.  This impermeable state lasts hours, not minutes. After jahkajee, every touch of love, however tender, may result in peals of laughter, or a sort of shivering, as the cutaneous layers of skin anticipate attack from every direction.  Her skin, conditioned to jahkajee, will thusly reject all gestures of affection.  Sexual activity is out of the question.  By forcing yourself on her, you reject The Good Manner.  Your solution comes in pairs: stop jahkajee immediately, and discuss with her matter-of-factly its perils.  Enlist her assistance.  Do not expect a “quick-fix”, but gradually withdraw your strong desire for jahkajee.  Develop other interests that involve her as well.  When you have successfully jettisoned the scourge of jahkajee, I predict your lady will again be open to pleasures of another kind. 

– Pa Farang 
Read Pa Farang’s other columns for more advice on relationships in Southeast Asia