The sharper edge to traveling in Asia

Bachelor in Bangkok: Khun Lee on Entertainment Providers, Sex Workers, and International Tourists

Written By: herbrunbridge - Jul• 04•10

I have an English friend in Bangkok who has gotten himself into quite a mess. This guy has the same “disconnect” that I see in so many western men in Thailand. Let me explain what I mean by “disconnect.” When I meet educated, successful men from Asia, Latin America, Africa, or anywhere other than Europe, North America, Australia etc., these guys always know that they have value and any woman who wants to be with them better be someone very special. They are right. Everywhere on this planet women are seeking men who are intelligent, educated, and successful and know how to treat a lady with respect.  Any man with these qualities can pick and choose from all the available women regardless of where he happens to be residing.  If he happens to be living in Southeast Asia, he will be easily in the top 1% of all available men. 

Somehow the men who come from the western world just haven’t figured this out.  Countless times I see western men who are masters of their domains in every other aspect of their lives, but yet have chosen a low class uneducated gal for a girlfriend/wife and are allowing her to walk all over him. Some of my western friends and ALL of my Asian friends are absolutely baffled by this phenomenon. My English friend referred to earlier is a classic example. Went to a fine university, executive for a top European company, flies all over the world teaching rich people what to do with their money—but yet he has a horrible Thai wife who treats him like a dog!  This is NOT a reflection on Thai women.  Most women will treat a man with disrespect once they have seen that he has no self respect.  Guys, no matter how horrible it may have been for you when you were living in Farangland, PLEASE  PLEASE never forget that you most likely possess most of the qualities women are seeking, and if you move to Thailand, be confident in the fact that you are desirable and sought after.

Last month I returned to Bangkok from my semi-annual trip to my little corner of Farangland.  One very simple chore will shed light on the difference between my social life here and my social life in the U.S.  When I landed in the U.S. I unpacked and put away all my belongings the very first night.  Well, I was back in Bangkok 2 ½ weeks before I got around to unpacking my bags! Yep, my bags sat on the floor of my apartment that long before I got around to doing something about it. 

Speaking of the U.S., one interesting thing to note is the reaction of my best buddy there to the photos of a few of my favorite Thai ladies. His first reaction was to say he believed they were all professional models. I’m not sure how much of this is a reflection on how beautiful my lady friends are, and how much is a reflection on how ugly the ladies are in my hometown. His second reaction was to say he had never seen such a big smile on my face as I had in the photos.  Now, how can I possibly explain to him why I never smile that big in the U.S.? He’ll just have to come here if he really wants to find out!

One dilemma in hanging out in the naughty bars so much is that most guys don’t know the proper term to use when referring to their favorite Entertainment Provider.  I think I just proved this point by stealing Dean Barrett’s term “Entertainment Provider!” Bar girl doesn’t work because most girls who work in bars don’t sleep with men for money.  Terms like prostitute etc. are offensive to most of the guys here as they have a negative connotation in Farangland, and really the ladies here give so much more of themselves than a normal prostitute would.  Girlfriend also is inaccurate as you certainly don’t pay your girlfriend to be your girlfriend.  Anyway, I was practicing my Thai by reading the Thai newspaper the other day and I found the perfect term.  Ladies in Thailand who entertain gentlemen for money use a term in Thai that translates as “sex worker.” That’s what they are! It isn’t negative (like prostitute) and not unrealistic (like girlfriend) it simply explains the nature of the work without being overly negative or positive. Now how do we get this term to catch on…?

One thing that really irritates me is all the bad press that Thailand gets in the western world.  There are so many negative stereotypes thrown around recklessly and with a certain amount of contempt.  Khun Lee is here to dispel one of the most common negative stereotypes that Thailand often has to endure.  Countless times in the western press Thailand is referred to as a place where middle aged fat western men come for the singular purpose of soliciting sex. Well, this sounds pretty good to me, but believe it or not this is considered to be a bad thing by many people. Anyway, this week I read in the Bangkok Post that Thailand has the highest percentage of female tourists of any country in Southeast Asia. Yes, 41% of the visitors to Thailand are female. To further illustrate my point, the other day I was at the Immigration Department in Bangkok and there was a really good cross section of visitors there.  Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, young or old, from Zimbabwe, Switzerland or Taiwan, you have to take care of the visa requirements.  Well, out of around 200 people there I believe I saw 6 western men.  Seldom have I seen such a wide variety of people.  I thought I was in the United Nations!

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis 
columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok

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