I really love Thailand.  Last week I saw an incredibly gorgeous lady on the skytrain, and as fate would have it, she got off at my stop.  I proceeded to follow her (as I had nowhere in particular that I had to be) and she walked into a candy store not far from the skytrain station.  It became obvious to me that she worked there, so I waited for her to resume work, and then chose some candy and went straight to the cash register that she was working at. After the usual chatter in Thai language about where we are from, how long in Bangkok etc., I confessed to her (with some trepidation) that I had followed her from the skytrain station. Now I must state right here and now that in the part of farangland that I come from the lady probably would have screamed bloody murder and reported me to the police as a stalker!  Well, this lady got all red in the face and told me that I had made her day and that was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in a long time!  Needless to say, phone numbers were exchanged and we plan on seeing a movie this weekend. 

Here is a wake up call story from farangland.  One of my best friends back in Antisepticville, USA (yes-that’s what I call it) is quite successful and has been married 12 years to an equally successful lady.  They have an agreement where as both parties deposit half of their salaries into a joint account in order to pay bills, and the other half is kept as their own money to spend as they please. A  pretty sound arrangement in my opinion.  He had been saving all year long in order to use his own money to buy her the car of her dreams for their anniversary.  He proceeded to pay over $60,000 U.S.  for the car and gave it to her the night they celebrated their anniversary.  She was really surprised and happy as one can imagine.  Two weeks later, looking really glum,  she told him “if you were REALLY sensitive to my needs, you would have realized that was not the color that I wanted the car to be.  But don’t worry, I can STILL DRIVE IT.”  The REALLY sad part is that after I told my friend I would dump her for such an arrogant and thankless attitude, his response was “I am lucky just to have ANY woman.” I really love Thailand. 

While on the subject of farangland, I was in MBK the other day and there was a group of University of Pennsylvania students in the internet café.  There were 18 gals and 20 boys.  I can honestly say that NOT ONE of the 18 gals was even the least bit attractive. Amazing.  Can you imagine 18 Thai university students all together in one place?  At least 5 would be off the charts beautiful and most of the remainder would be somewhat pleasant on the eyes. I really love Thailand. 

He lasted only 11 days! I still cannot believe it.  11 days!  Well, 4 years ago, while sitting at a beer bar in Bangkok and enjoying the sights and sounds around me, I met a really nice guy from Arizona, USA.  We exchanged email addresses, and several weeks later I received my first email from him. He had returned to Arizona from his delightful first trip to Thailand and was wondering if I would give him some pointers on how to move to Thailand at a fairly young age (as I have) and all the particulars of such a life changing move.  Over the next year and a half we exchanged countless emails, and I must say he was intelligent and thoughtful. He asked all the right questions, and always soaked up my bits of wisdom and came back with even more intelligent inquiries. He seemed to me to be a perfect candidate for moving to Thailand and living a happy and fruitful life.  This guy left no detail to chance.  He knew where he was going to live, exactly how much he would spend each month, where the money was going to come from, even had a list of restaurants he could eat at for under 50 baht.  The big day came and we met at Bus Stop on Sukumvit soi 4 on his first day as a genuine Bangkok expat.  He had a book 3 inches thick full of notes on every aspect of life here. This guy had a plan!  He was still relatively young (45) and had a very detailed plan on how he was going to retire young and stay in Paradise for the rest of his life.  Needless to say, many of our emails dealt with the nightlife and all the temptations of life in Thailand. I reminded him countless times that he would not be on holiday, would not be returning to a cushy overpaid position in farangland, and had to pace himself and act accordingly.  

Well, after we met the first night, I didn’t see or hear from him for another week.  Finally, I bumped into him at MBK and he had a young lady with him.  We talked for a while and agreed to meet for lunch the following day. The next day at lunch he proceeded to tell me that he had barfined her all 7 nights since the day his plane landed, and that he was “in love” and was going to take care of her as his girlfriend! Oh Nooooooo! I tried in vain to talk him out of this insanity, but he was not interested in hearing the voice of reason and went on his merry way.  Three days later I saw him at Bus Stop again, and he told me that he had drained his bank account and given nearly all of his money to his girlfriend to buy a 7-11 shop in her hometown. Funny thing is, after going to her hometown with her he found out that she had a Thai husband already and she told him straight away that  now that she had all of his money, she really had no use for him anymore.  He was heartbroken as well as having spent 90% of his life savings on her.  

This guy was smart, detail oriented and had saved enough money to live in Thailand for the rest of his life, and HE LASTED 11 DAYS!  I really love Thailand. However, for people who can’t handle themselves around women, or have no discipline with money, this place just ain’t for them! Everything is available 24 hours a day, and for some people the temptation to overindulge is just too great. He knew this gal for a week. It doesn’t matter what country you are in or how lovely the gal seems, when you’ve known someone for a week you are still TOTAL STRANGERS! I’ve noticed that the guys who get in the most trouble don’t possess what I call a “self protection mindset.” The money that I have saved up during my lifetime belongs to me and I would NEVER throw away my future happiness and welfare by loaning or giving my nest egg to anyone. I budget my money and if I see that I have spent a few thousand baht more than usual, I just stay in the next couple of days and catch up on my reading. 

My friend still emails me from Arizona, but no matter how many times I tell him to stay away from Thailand because this place is just not for him, he is still planning to save money for 5 more years and come back and try again!

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok