Last week we explored the best way to handle oneself when dealing with Entertainment Providers in LOS.  This week I want to venture into the realm of the “good girls.” More and more guys are coming to me for advice on how to meet a nice gal in Thailand. Many have tried a relationship with an Entertainment Provider and found out for themselves just how tricky this can be.  Some guys are looking for a serious relationship and realize they really are going to have to venture outside of Nana Plaza!  Some have tried the internet chat rooms with limited success.  Well here comes Khun Lee’s Top 5 Rules for meeting and successfully dealing with “good girls.” 

1) Present yourself appropriately
Thai gals are quite conservative by nature and most are really the antithesis of the ladies you meet when going to naughty nightlife places. However, many would be very interested in meeting a nice western gentleman, and if you handle yourself properly the possibilities are endless.  Thai gals tend to like guys who are well dressed, polite, know how to treat a lady and how to act in public. Yes, I know it’s so hot here that most of the time we start sweating while waiting for the lift just outside of our room!  Well, no matter how painful it may be, the more well dressed you are the more successful you will be. Keep your hair short, wear smart clothes, smile and be polite, and you will do very well indeed.  Don’t be too serious though.  One of the things I hear repeatedly from Thai gals is that they are shocked at how serious and depressing western men are. We worry about everything and are full of anxiety 24 hours a day and this just doesn’t sit well with Thais.

So my advice is put on your best clothes, your warmest smile, and be very polite at all times (even if you are boiling over inside) and you’re ready for the gals. 

2) Money won’t do it all
I do have some bad news for those men who are rolling in money. In Nana Plaza money is 99% of the game and you can wear dirty clothes, act like an idiot and smell like a monkey and you will still score every time.  It is a whole different ballgame with the good girls.  They dream about big houses and fancy clothes just like all women, but they don’t expect to have all those things and very rarely use money as major criteria in choosing a man.  This may sound like good news to many of you, but time and time again I see guys blowing it with a nice Thai lady because they are used to being wanted for their money.  Let’s face the facts, most western women worship money, and the Entertainment Providers care primarily about making money, so therefore guys get used to thinking that their wallet is the key to success.  This can be a very nasty habit to break.  Just last week I set up a friend of mine on a date with a Thai Air flight attendant.  She is a very nice young lady from Bangkok and had often asked me if I had any nice friends I could introduce to her.  Well, my friend is a very wealthy man and used to getting his way.  They went to a Thai restaurant on their very first date, and my friend proceeds to complain vehemently to the waiter about how they hade made a mistake with his order.  In Thailand one never raises his voice in public, and keeping one’s cool is most important.   She was so embarrassed she told me that she would NEVER go out with him again under any circumstances. I explained to her that he is a corporate V.P. and used to getting his way, but he is also quite rich and successful. NOT INTERESTED. 

3) Look in appropriate spots
I probably don’t need to tell you that you won’t find your good gal working in the naughty nightlife.  Here’s the REALLY bad news. You probably won’t find her working anywhere that is within 1 mile of a nightlife area. The gals who work in the hotels, internet shops, pool halls, and other venues aimed at servicing tourists are quite often just as mercenary as the bargirls. Yes, that little honey you met at the internet café on soi nana, may(or may not) have more providers than a Rainbow 4 Superstar! Sounds harsh? Well, venture at your own risk. 

I searched the alcohol laden remains of my grey matter this week and came up with the following list (in order of importance) of places I have met good gals in Bangkok:

A) Shopping centers (and coffee shops etc. inside the centers)
B) Through Thai friends
C) Transportation centers (BTS, MRT, Bus and Train stations)
D) Thai Entertainment venues (Discos, Karaoke places, Concerts)
E) Anyplace that serves food! 

Yes, you can meet her anywhere, but the further you stray from the farang ghettos the better your chances are. 

4) The 10/80/10 rule
In the West, many people are considered to be middle class, with a smaller number of lower and upper class folks. It is VERY different here in LOS. About 10% of the population would be considered “upper” class.  You will probably see tons of these ladies strolling around Siam Paragon and Emporium shopping centers on Sundays. They have white skin, are taller than average, wear WAY too much makeup and have expensive clothes and jewelry.  If this description isn’t enough for you to recognize them when you see them, they often have the same indifferent demeanor that farang women have. I wouldn’t waste any time pursuing these women unless you are a masochist.            

Then there is the “lower” 10%.  These are the women who work in the naughty nightlife and venues in the vicinity of the naughty nightlife, or work other low level jobs around the city. Anyone who doesn’t know why he can’t date these women please refer to last week’s column!           

The good news is that this leaves 80% of the population that isn’t hustling customers for a living, and also is not a stuck up hi-so gal. This is your target group. Virtually every gal who attends University, works in an office, or otherwise is waking up every day and pursuing a goal will fall into this group.  You get the best of both worlds.  They will have traditional Thai values without being rich or arrogant. 

5) Be interested in Thailand 
Learn as much Thai language as you can. It is difficult, but the level of English spoken by many good gals is poor at best.  Go to Thai movies.  Listen to Thai music.  Eat Thai food. If you are going to be here you might as well enjoy the culture and everything that goes along with it. When I bring a lady back to my place for the first time, I put some Thai music on and they light up like a Christmas tree.  They are so happy to meet a guy who tries to relate to them.            

If your Thai is mediocre or better, you don’t need any of my advice because you will have so many women after you that you won’t have time to read my column!

Summary

Dress smartly and take care of your appearance.  Be polite and cool at all times. Don’t fool yourself into thinking your wallet will do it for you. Look anywhere that is 1 mile or more away from naughty nightlife areas. Pursue the normal Thai gals, not the hi-so rich or the ladies so poor they are forced into the naughty nightlife. Invest in learning Thai, and enjoy the music and culture.  Good hunting! 

PS. Addendum to the story about the Thai Air flight attendant. Last night I set her up with another friend of mine and she says she is very interested in him. Ironically, he makes less than 10% as much money as the first guy!

Read Khun Lee’s other WoWasis columns for more advice on navigating the adult dating scene through the backstreets of Bangkok