Dear Pa Farang,

I'm a traditional Thai man, living on the Green Route, and originally from the northeast. Through a series of good business decisions, I find myself quite well off, and live in a nice traditional home with my wife and two daughters. Now that my daughters are teenagers, I find myself a prisoner in my own home.

My jailer? The constant ringing of three mobile phones (my wife's also an addict), and endless chatter, mostly about boys and shopping. They now keep their phones on the dinner table, and polite conversation has become impossible due to the interruptions. My daughters think nothing of chatting with friends during meals! This has become so bad, that I've threatened to move into the maid's quarters against the back of the property, which of course angers my wife.

My mia noy, a quiet Isaan lady with a four year old son (not mine) has none of this nonsense in her house, but I'm reluctant to spend more time there than I ordinarily would, as marital and familial harmony is important to me.

Pa Farang, even my best friends have a similar problem, and they have no answers. How can I stop the madness, and enjoy my home again?

Sincerely,

Uncle Jum

Dear Uncle Jum,

Bangkok is, by nature, a noisy city, and one of life's joys is to escape the disorder and chaos through relaxation at home. That has been denied to you, and you are to be applauded for showing the Good Manner by not destroying that which is important to you, by throwing out the baby with the bathwater. It's apparent that you have lost respect at home. The key is getting it back, while promoting harmony.

To begin, I'd suggest having a family meeting, and request that telephones be turned off during the discussion. I believe that your wife and daughters think you are joking when you tell them that phones and conversations disturb you. After all, you appear to be in the minority! Do tell them that, as the husband and father who has supported them and catered to their needs, that you deserve some peace and quiet in your own home, and make some suggestions for remediation. A good approach would be to designate part of your house as a "phone-free zone." Also, ask that all phones be turned off during meals.

This is not too much to ask. I am confident that opening the lines of communication will be successful. Your family has been influenced by advertising and peer pressure, but my guess is that your family will gladly do what's necessary to help you to enjoy a certain degree of peace in your own home.

Marayat dee!

Pa Farang