Dear Pa Farang,

I am professional Thai lady, 28 year old who work bank, near Khao San Road. My girlfriend Napaporn like reading you, and now I like too. Napaporn have farang boyfriend, very nice, maybe they get married soon in the Thai way.

I would like boyfriend too, and many my friends tell me I good looking lady, some say like model. Many farang come to bank, but many have the bad smell, especially on hot weather day. I do not understand why they have the bad smell, and some ask me go lunch, but cannot go, because it is not good. Maybe farang do not understand, if Thai lady have lunch with man who not have the good smell, then Thai lady lose face. Pa Farang, I want to know, why many farang do like this?

Sincerely,

Jai dee lady

Dear Jai Dee,

It remains a mystery as to why many western travelers, coming from lands where soap and water are plentiful and inexpensive, choose not to bathe. In addition to being an affront to the senses, this unsocial behavior is insulting to Thais, whose cultural history is one of cleanliness. You have asked a question that has befuddled Pa Farang ever since he first set foot in Thailand. Presumably, Jai Dee, your girlfriend’s boyfriend is not like this. I encourage you not to lose hope. Many farang do “have the good smell,” and are just as offended as you, when in the vicinity of those who don’t.

For farang men, I have some advice, on several fronts:

One, ensure that you’re clean. Many Thais bathe several times a day in the hot weather. Do the same.

Two, use deodorant and a body powder. Call me an "Old Salt," but I use Snake Brand Prickly Heat Powder, classic smell, mind you. Keeps a fresh breeze in my sail all day long.

Three, Jai Dee most probably would also be offended by a favorite standard of western dress in hot Thai weather, namely Bermuda shorts anchored by sandals and black socks. You’ve noticed that Thai men wear long pants, and you should consider emulating them.

There are plenty of wonderful ladies who would like to meet Western men, but their sense of honor prevents them from overtly telling you that you need to improve in the sartorial and olfactory departments. Instead, they’ll simply smile and walk away. Show the Good Manner by blending in with Thai culture in these small, but important ways, and you’ll have better opportunities to meet classy, nice ladies such as Jai Dee.

Marayat dee!

Pa Farang